I found the fat people
The fat people were grocery shopping this afternoon at my local supermarket. In fact, we looked like we were at a fat people convention.
I went straight from the gym to the grocery store (and yes, I was a hot, sweaty and very unattractive mess...more on that later). I don't remember the last time I shopped on a Saturday afternoon. There were a lot of extremely overweight people there today, and my heart broke a little for each and every one of them. I know first-hand how much this hurts, physically and mentally.
I'd guess the average BMI was 40+. There were a lot of people that appeared to be 250 to 300 pounds (and they weren't seven feet tall!). I'm a pretty good judge of weight. I'm 213 pounds, 5' 6", and I was probably one of the thinner of the fat people.
I really try not to pass judgement on overweight people for buying junk food: a.) it's none of my business and b.) I've been there. Yet, I couldn't help myself as I peeked into their grocery baskets. I didn't see anyone even attempting to eat healthy. Mostly processed foods, frozen or canned, and a lot of chips, bakery goods, cookies and candy, and similar unhealthy choices. I wonder how many times someone has looked at my food choices and thought 'oh my goodness, she shouldn't be eating that food...she's already too fat!'.
In an odd way, it actually helped me make really healthy choices. First of all, I'd just come from the gym which is the absolute best time for me to shop for food. When I've just worked out really hard and had a great workout, I truly have no desire to eat junk. Today I was thinking maybe that's the only time I should go grocery shopping, after a workout. Then I saw so many people in my situation, struggling with obesity, it just reinforced what I was already feeling about food. Make healthy choices.
About the gym
I posted a few days ago about how much I dislike my gym, L.A. Fitness. It's filled with young, healthy people. Now, I have nothing against being young or being healthy. I was just having a problem with being the oldest, most unfit person at my gym. The close quarters of the free weights area, filled with young, muscular men, was the most annoying aspect of it. I love working out with free weights, but I was really feeling intimidated by the men.
I found a solution! Today I did most of my free weights in the group class area that was empty. It's a huge room, mirrors on three sides, high ceiling and cooler (temperature) than the rest of the gym. Someone had left a set of 15-pound dumbbells and a 25-pound plate weight. Perfect for three of my upper body exercises. Then I used the 8-pound weights for some deltoids exercises, add in three machines for lats and delts, and I had a great weight workout. I was the only person in there, except for one young woman that came in and did some crunches. I checked the class schedule and there aren't any classes in there Monday, Wednesday and Friday until 8:30am. Perfect!
Of course, there are some bench free weight exercises I still need to do, so I'll have fight for a bench and deal with the all-guy area (that's how I've come to think of it). I'll manage, and like some of you said, I have just as much to be there as they do.
I also faced the StairMaster today. I've been avoiding it with the logic I'm too fat for the StairMaster. Well, you're never to fat for the StairMaster! I was definitely slower than the guy next to me (yes, he was young and thin), but my average heart rate was 132, and I burned 236 calories in 30 minutes. It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected, and a lot more "fun" than the elliptical. More of a challenge and you can't cheat.
Food has been nearly perfect today. This is the fourth day in a row of eating healthy and exercising. It feels good to be back.