I'm back....

I'm back....

It's been almost two months since my last post on Sept 2. It's been a very rough two months.

My marriage, which has had it's ups and downs over the years, reached a new low the past several weeks. It became so bad that I had a consultation with a divorce attorney. I learned some very disturbing things from her regarding what would happen to me financially. Without going into a lot of details, if I divorce it will destroy any hopes I had of a financially sound retirement. This is something I've worked towards for a very long time (I'm 57 and have been with the same company for 29 years). I've never felt more helpless and hopeless in my entire life to find out that everything I've worked for will be gone (well, more accurately, 50% will be gone).

I've still haven't decided what to do. After a weekend in a hotel, then seeing the attorney,  I returned home. It hasn't been pleasant. My husband changed the locks on the doors. I had to hire a locksmith to get back into my own house and have a police escort. That's just how bad it got.

After my father-in-law passed away the end of August, my husband lost his job the next week. During the same week he lost his job he fell off a ladder and broke his leg. It was a severe break that required surgery with screws and a steel plate. There's a lot more to this story than you're reading here, but some other things happened that caused our marriage to break beyond repair.

That, in a nutshell, is what's been going on with me. If you think your life is bad, just step into mine for a few days. You'll appreciate what you have.

Add to the above that I haven't even been near the gym in two months, I feel physically ill. I lost ten pounds and am down to 210, but it was from stress. I didn't lose it by eating healthy, but by being so freaked out about my life that I just didn't pay a lot of attention to food.

My plan the next few weeks is to just take it a day at a time. I can't walk around in a constant state of freak out. Tomorrow morning I'm hitting the gym in attempt to at least get some semblance of normalcy back into my life.

By the way, I'm dressing up as Nurse Ratched for Halloween. It just seems to appropriate. Remember this post, it was from October 24, 2008.

I'm back....

I'm back....

It's been almost two months since my last post on Sept 2. It's been a very rough two months.

My marriage, which has had it's ups and downs over the years, reached a new low the past several weeks. It became so bad that I had a consultation with a divorce attorney. I learned some very disturbing things from her regarding what would happen to me financially. Without going into a lot of details, if I divorce it will destroy any hopes I had of a financially sound retirement. This is something I've worked towards for a very long time (I'm 57 and have been with the same company for 29 years). I've never felt more helpless and hopeless in my entire life to find out that everything I've worked for will be gone (well, more accurately, 50% will be gone).

I've still haven't decided what to do. After a weekend in a hotel, then seeing the attorney,  I returned home. It hasn't been pleasant. My husband changed the locks on the doors. I had to hire a locksmith to get back into my own house and have a police escort. That's just how bad it got.

After my father-in-law passed away the end of August, my husband lost his job the next week. During the same week he lost his job he fell off a ladder and broke his leg. It was a severe break that required surgery with screws and a steel plate. There's a lot more to this story than you're reading here, but some other things happened that caused our marriage to break beyond repair.

That, in a nutshell, is what's been going on with me. If you think your life is bad, just step into mine for a few days. You'll appreciate what you have.

Add to the above that I haven't even been near the gym in two months, I feel physically ill. I lost ten pounds and am down to 210, but it was from stress. I didn't lose it by eating healthy, but by being so freaked out about my life that I just didn't pay a lot of attention to food.

My plan the next few weeks is to just take it a day at a time. I can't walk around in a constant state of freak out. Tomorrow morning I'm hitting the gym in attempt to at least get some semblance of normalcy back into my life.

By the way, I'm dressing up as Nurse Ratched for Halloween. It just seems to appropriate. Remember this post, it was from October 24, 2008.

I'm back....

I'm back....

It's been almost two months since my last post on Sept 2. It's been a very rough two months.

My marriage, which has had it's ups and downs over the years, reached a new low the past several weeks. It became so bad that I had a consultation with a divorce attorney. I learned some very disturbing things from her regarding what would happen to me financially. Without going into a lot of details, if I divorce it will destroy any hopes I had of a financially sound retirement. This is something I've worked towards for a very long time (I'm 57 and have been with the same company for 29 years). I've never felt more helpless and hopeless in my entire life to find out that everything I've worked for will be gone (well, more accurately, 50% will be gone).

I've still haven't decided what to do. After a weekend in a hotel, then seeing the attorney,  I returned home. It hasn't been pleasant. My husband changed the locks on the doors. I had to hire a locksmith to get back into my own house and have a police escort. That's just how bad it got.

After my father-in-law passed away the end of August, my husband lost his job the next week. During the same week he lost his job he fell off a ladder and broke his leg. It was a severe break that required surgery with screws and a steel plate. There's a lot more to this story than you're reading here, but some other things happened that caused our marriage to break beyond repair.

That, in a nutshell, is what's been going on with me. If you think your life is bad, just step into mine for a few days. You'll appreciate what you have.

Add to the above that I haven't even been near the gym in two months, I feel physically ill. I lost ten pounds and am down to 210, but it was from stress. I didn't lose it by eating healthy, but by being so freaked out about my life that I just didn't pay a lot of attention to food.

My plan the next few weeks is to just take it a day at a time. I can't walk around in a constant state of freak out. Tomorrow morning I'm hitting the gym in attempt to at least get some semblance of normalcy back into my life.

By the way, I'm dressing up as Nurse Ratched for Halloween. It just seems to appropriate. Remember this post, it was from October 24, 2008.

I'm back....

I'm back....

It's been almost two months since my last post on Sept 2. It's been a very rough two months.

My marriage, which has had it's ups and downs over the years, reached a new low the past several weeks. It became so bad that I had a consultation with a divorce attorney. I learned some very disturbing things from her regarding what would happen to me financially. Without going into a lot of details, if I divorce it will destroy any hopes I had of a financially sound retirement. This is something I've worked towards for a very long time (I'm 57 and have been with the same company for 29 years). I've never felt more helpless and hopeless in my entire life to find out that everything I've worked for will be gone (well, more accurately, 50% will be gone).

I've still haven't decided what to do. After a weekend in a hotel, then seeing the attorney,  I returned home. It hasn't been pleasant. My husband changed the locks on the doors. I had to hire a locksmith to get back into my own house and have a police escort. That's just how bad it got.

After my father-in-law passed away the end of August, my husband lost his job the next week. During the same week he lost his job he fell off a ladder and broke his leg. It was a severe break that required surgery with screws and a steel plate. There's a lot more to this story than you're reading here, but some other things happened that caused our marriage to break beyond repair.

That, in a nutshell, is what's been going on with me. If you think your life is bad, just step into mine for a few days. You'll appreciate what you have.

Add to the above that I haven't even been near the gym in two months, I feel physically ill. I lost ten pounds and am down to 210, but it was from stress. I didn't lose it by eating healthy, but by being so freaked out about my life that I just didn't pay a lot of attention to food.

My plan the next few weeks is to just take it a day at a time. I can't walk around in a constant state of freak out. Tomorrow morning I'm hitting the gym in attempt to at least get some semblance of normalcy back into my life.

By the way, I'm dressing up as Nurse Ratched for Halloween. It just seems to appropriate. Remember this post, it was from October 24, 2008.

I'm back....

I'm back....

It's been almost two months since my last post on Sept 2. It's been a very rough two months.

My marriage, which has had it's ups and downs over the years, reached a new low the past several weeks. It became so bad that I had a consultation with a divorce attorney. I learned some very disturbing things from her regarding what would happen to me financially. Without going into a lot of details, if I divorce it will destroy any hopes I had of a financially sound retirement. This is something I've worked towards for a very long time (I'm 57 and have been with the same company for 29 years). I've never felt more helpless and hopeless in my entire life to find out that everything I've worked for will be gone (well, more accurately, 50% will be gone).

I've still haven't decided what to do. After a weekend in a hotel, then seeing the attorney,  I returned home. It hasn't been pleasant. My husband changed the locks on the doors. I had to hire a locksmith to get back into my own house and have a police escort. That's just how bad it got.

After my father-in-law passed away the end of August, my husband lost his job the next week. During the same week he lost his job he fell off a ladder and broke his leg. It was a severe break that required surgery with screws and a steel plate. There's a lot more to this story than you're reading here, but some other things happened that caused our marriage to break beyond repair.

That, in a nutshell, is what's been going on with me. If you think your life is bad, just step into mine for a few days. You'll appreciate what you have.

Add to the above that I haven't even been near the gym in two months, I feel physically ill. I lost ten pounds and am down to 210, but it was from stress. I didn't lose it by eating healthy, but by being so freaked out about my life that I just didn't pay a lot of attention to food.

My plan the next few weeks is to just take it a day at a time. I can't walk around in a constant state of freak out. Tomorrow morning I'm hitting the gym in attempt to at least get some semblance of normalcy back into my life.

By the way, I'm dressing up as Nurse Ratched for Halloween. It just seems to appropriate. Remember this post, it was from October 24, 2008.

I'm back....

I'm back....

It's been almost two months since my last post on Sept 2. It's been a very rough two months.

My marriage, which has had it's ups and downs over the years, reached a new low the past several weeks. It became so bad that I had a consultation with a divorce attorney. I learned some very disturbing things from her regarding what would happen to me financially. Without going into a lot of details, if I divorce it will destroy any hopes I had of a financially sound retirement. This is something I've worked towards for a very long time (I'm 57 and have been with the same company for 29 years). I've never felt more helpless and hopeless in my entire life to find out that everything I've worked for will be gone (well, more accurately, 50% will be gone).

I've still haven't decided what to do. After a weekend in a hotel, then seeing the attorney,  I returned home. It hasn't been pleasant. My husband changed the locks on the doors. I had to hire a locksmith to get back into my own house and have a police escort. That's just how bad it got.

After my father-in-law passed away the end of August, my husband lost his job the next week. During the same week he lost his job he fell off a ladder and broke his leg. It was a severe break that required surgery with screws and a steel plate. There's a lot more to this story than you're reading here, but some other things happened that caused our marriage to break beyond repair.

That, in a nutshell, is what's been going on with me. If you think your life is bad, just step into mine for a few days. You'll appreciate what you have.

Add to the above that I haven't even been near the gym in two months, I feel physically ill. I lost ten pounds and am down to 210, but it was from stress. I didn't lose it by eating healthy, but by being so freaked out about my life that I just didn't pay a lot of attention to food.

My plan the next few weeks is to just take it a day at a time. I can't walk around in a constant state of freak out. Tomorrow morning I'm hitting the gym in attempt to at least get some semblance of normalcy back into my life.

By the way, I'm dressing up as Nurse Ratched for Halloween. It just seems to appropriate. Remember this post, it was from October 24, 2008.

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

Can't turn off the tears

Can't turn off the tears

It's like once I opened the flood gates, I can't stop! I've cried and cried today. Everything is making me cry.

My new optometrist made me cry. I actually told him I didn't like his attitude and was leaving. I left his office crying, with him running after me. I got in my car and drove away. With my pupils dilated, me crying like an idiot and the bright sunshine, I could barely see to get home, which fortunately was only about three miles from the clinic. Someday I might tell the whole story, but the doctor was a total jerk to me. However, he's the least of my problems.

The good news is that Mookie is going to be okay. She had the surgery and they found that the bullet had pierced her intestines in two places, fairly close together. They cut out a piece of her intestines and stitched it back together. Without the surgery she would have definitely died.

The bullet also clipped her diaphragm, which had just a tiny cut and is okay, and it cut through a small piece of her liver. Livers apparently recover well to being cut. Two more nights under the vets care and then she'll come home. The surgeon said she'll be fine. She's only two years old and was a very healthy, sweet and curious kitty. It's heartbreaking that someone would do such a cruel and evil thing to a helpless little cat.

I'm almost embarrassed that we spent so much money on a cat. I think a big part of it is that my husband's father is dying, and I just couldn't bear the thought of him losing his cat too.

I called the police this morning and unless we have proof that the person we think did it, actually committed the crime, there's nothing they can do.

My husband saw the new neighbor's kid (the suspect, about 12 years old) target practicing in his back yard about a month ago with a 22 caliber pellet gun. He was shooting the opposite direction of our house. They have a one acre lot filled with plum and apple trees, that backs up to our house. They also have a huge tree house that looks down, through the trees, right into our fenced back yard. We found Mookie laying in the middle of our back yard, curled in a tiny ball. This was yesterday at 6pm. It appeared she was shot in our own yard. We were both gone all day, my husband in Denver, and me with my sister.

I can't even begin to describe how angry I am about this incident. It's a big part of the tears. I'm so angry but I feel so helpless. I don't even feel safe in my own back yard.

The kitty with the kidney failure, well, I finally took her to the vet tonight and had her euthanized. She hadn't eaten for four days, and could barely walk. I think I waited too long. It was dreadful. I've been through this many times in my life, having pets put down, but this one was exceptionally bad. The vet couldn't find her vein. I won't go into it but what normally takes just a few minutes took twenty minutes.

I'm surprised anyone still reads my posts. They are filled with so much sorrow and sadness. Right now I feel my head is going to explode from all the crying. 

I read all your comments and you are all so kind to me. I feel like a big whiny, crybaby these days. When I read your comments it just makes me realize there are really a lot of kind and sweet people in this world. Thank you.

Can't turn off the tears

Can't turn off the tears

It's like once I opened the flood gates, I can't stop! I've cried and cried today. Everything is making me cry.

My new optometrist made me cry. I actually told him I didn't like his attitude and was leaving. I left his office crying, with him running after me. I got in my car and drove away. With my pupils dilated, me crying like an idiot and the bright sunshine, I could barely see to get home, which fortunately was only about three miles from the clinic. Someday I might tell the whole story, but the doctor was a total jerk to me. However, he's the least of my problems.

The good news is that Mookie is going to be okay. She had the surgery and they found that the bullet had pierced her intestines in two places, fairly close together. They cut out a piece of her intestines and stitched it back together. Without the surgery she would have definitely died.

The bullet also clipped her diaphragm, which had just a tiny cut and is okay, and it cut through a small piece of her liver. Livers apparently recover well to being cut. Two more nights under the vets care and then she'll come home. The surgeon said she'll be fine. She's only two years old and was a very healthy, sweet and curious kitty. It's heartbreaking that someone would do such a cruel and evil thing to a helpless little cat.

I'm almost embarrassed that we spent so much money on a cat. I think a big part of it is that my husband's father is dying, and I just couldn't bear the thought of him losing his cat too.

I called the police this morning and unless we have proof that the person we think did it, actually committed the crime, there's nothing they can do.

My husband saw the new neighbor's kid (the suspect, about 12 years old) target practicing in his back yard about a month ago with a 22 caliber pellet gun. He was shooting the opposite direction of our house. They have a one acre lot filled with plum and apple trees, that backs up to our house. They also have a huge tree house that looks down, through the trees, right into our fenced back yard. We found Mookie laying in the middle of our back yard, curled in a tiny ball. This was yesterday at 6pm. It appeared she was shot in our own yard. We were both gone all day, my husband in Denver, and me with my sister.

I can't even begin to describe how angry I am about this incident. It's a big part of the tears. I'm so angry but I feel so helpless. I don't even feel safe in my own back yard.

The kitty with the kidney failure, well, I finally took her to the vet tonight and had her euthanized. She hadn't eaten for four days, and could barely walk. I think I waited too long. It was dreadful. I've been through this many times in my life, having pets put down, but this one was exceptionally bad. The vet couldn't find her vein. I won't go into it but what normally takes just a few minutes took twenty minutes.

I'm surprised anyone still reads my posts. They are filled with so much sorrow and sadness. Right now I feel my head is going to explode from all the crying. 

I read all your comments and you are all so kind to me. I feel like a big whiny, crybaby these days. When I read your comments it just makes me realize there are really a lot of kind and sweet people in this world. Thank you.

Yesterday was the worst day ever

Yesterday was the worst day ever

After spending a very unpleasant day with my sister yesterday, trying to pull her out of her angry, sad mood, I was physically and mentally spent by the end of the day. We ate at Anthony's Homeport out on the water to celebrate her birtday. It was 88 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful day. My sister was horribly depressed, and would barely talk. I never understand her anyway, but usually she at least tries to communicate. Instead, she just looked out at the water and cried.

Then we went to a movie, Hope Springs. Not a funny or happy movie. I should have read the reviews.

The radio/iPod player stand with speakers that I bought for her room that I thought she wanted, she pointed at it and to the door for me to take home. The expensive Korean cake made with fresh whipped cream and fruit, she didn't want anything to do with it, or the Baskins and Robbins handpacked pralines 'n cream ice cream. I told the caregiver to give it to the other five residents. My sister just wanted to go to bed at 5:30pm.

It was a horrible day with her. The wost one so far. I know her situation is terrible, and I know she's depressed about it. Sometimes though, she just sucks me down with her. I cried all the way home.

I was only home for twenty minutes then had to head to the airport to pick up my husband. For 25 minutes I listened to the stories of his dying dad.

When we got home, my husband asked about his cat, Mookie, a little 2-year old tabby he rescued when when was a newborn. I hadn't seen her since that morning. We found her in our fenced back yard under a lawn chair. She had a cut on her side and was bleeding. She wasn't moving.

We got her to the emergency vet within 30 minutes. We agreed to pay the $1,000 for the x-rays and CAT scan. She'd been shot with a 22-caliber rifle. It ripped through her body from the upper left chest to her back right hip. That means the bullet traveled through her entire chest cavity, diagnally, from one end to the other.

Right now they're observing her at the clinic, but if she needs surgery, it'll be a $5,000 bill. I'm hesitating on this because that's a lot of money for a cat. On the other hand, I don't think my husband can handle losing her. This is his cat. She practically worships him. She only comes when he calls her.

We don't know how this happened but suspect our new neighbors that live behind us. They have a 12-year old son. They have an acre of land behind us, with a tree house that looks directly down into our back yard. We've heard him shooting a gun before, but never dreamed he'd shoot into our yard.

The 16-year old cat with renal failure has stopped eating anything, and is barely drinking. If she doesn't pass naturally in the next couple of days I'll have to have her put down.

I really don't know how much more stuff like this I can handle. 

PS...I just called and authorized the $5,000 surgery. This is on top of the $1,000 for the x-rays and CAT scan, and ultrasound they did last night. I realized this is crazy, but my husband is losing his dad, I can't let his cat die too. It's only money, right?

Yesterday was the worst day ever

Yesterday was the worst day ever

After spending a very unpleasant day with my sister yesterday, trying to pull her out of her angry, sad mood, I was physically and mentally spent by the end of the day. We ate at Anthony's Homeport out on the water to celebrate her birtday. It was 88 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful day. My sister was horribly depressed, and would barely talk. I never understand her anyway, but usually she at least tries to communicate. Instead, she just looked out at the water and cried.

Then we went to a movie, Hope Springs. Not a funny or happy movie. I should have read the reviews.

The radio/iPod player stand with speakers that I bought for her room that I thought she wanted, she pointed at it and to the door for me to take home. The expensive Korean cake made with fresh whipped cream and fruit, she didn't want anything to do with it, or the Baskins and Robbins handpacked pralines 'n cream ice cream. I told the caregiver to give it to the other five residents. My sister just wanted to go to bed at 5:30pm.

It was a horrible day with her. The wost one so far. I know her situation is terrible, and I know she's depressed about it. Sometimes though, she just sucks me down with her. I cried all the way home.

I was only home for twenty minutes then had to head to the airport to pick up my husband. For 25 minutes I listened to the stories of his dying dad.

When we got home, my husband asked about his cat, Mookie, a little 2-year old tabby he rescued when when was a newborn. I hadn't seen her since that morning. We found her in our fenced back yard under a lawn chair. She had a cut on her side and was bleeding. She wasn't moving.

We got her to the emergency vet within 30 minutes. We agreed to pay the $1,000 for the x-rays and CAT scan. She'd been shot with a 22-caliber rifle. It ripped through her body from the upper left chest to her back right hip. That means the bullet traveled through her entire chest cavity, diagnally, from one end to the other.

Right now they're observing her at the clinic, but if she needs surgery, it'll be a $5,000 bill. I'm hesitating on this because that's a lot of money for a cat. On the other hand, I don't think my husband can handle losing her. This is his cat. She practically worships him. She only comes when he calls her.

We don't know how this happened but suspect our new neighbors that live behind us. They have a 12-year old son. They have an acre of land behind us, with a tree house that looks directly down into our back yard. We've heard him shooting a gun before, but never dreamed he'd shoot into our yard.

The 16-year old cat with renal failure has stopped eating anything, and is barely drinking. If she doesn't pass naturally in the next couple of days I'll have to have her put down.

I really don't know how much more stuff like this I can handle. 

PS...I just called and authorized the $5,000 surgery. This is on top of the $1,000 for the x-rays and CAT scan, and ultrasound they did last night. I realized this is crazy, but my husband is losing his dad, I can't let his cat die too. It's only money, right?

What a difference an hour made

What a difference an hour made

I went to spinning class and stayed for the entire hour. . I was sure I was going to have a heart attack and die on the spot!

It was really hard, but the instructor was awesome. She kept saying things like "if you don't challenge yourself, you won't make a difference in your body". Almost every song she played is on my current iPod playlist, so the music was great.

I love my new cycling shoes with the SPD cleats. I got to class early and the instructor showed me how to attach my shoes to the pedals. The first few tries was a lot harder than it looked in the video, but it's really easy once you do it a few times. I think it really does make a difference in how I worked my leg muscles. When I got home, a six-minute drive, I could barely get out of the car.

My attitude did a 180 after the class. It's true about the endorphins. I walked out of the gym and into the warm sunshine, with a slight breeze, and thought...LIFE IS GOOD!

There's sadness all around me right now, but that's life. Into every life a little rain must fall, right?  I've certainly had my share of sadness this past year, but we all do. No one has a perfect life. It just makes me appreciate the good things even more.

Regarding my weight, I don't even know what it is right now. I haven't weighed in a week, but I'm sure I'm up several pounds. This past week was harder than most. I didn't exercise or eat right last week, but starting this morning I'm back on track.

Life is hard sometimes, no doubt about it.

Can't turn off the tears

Can't turn off the tears

It's like once I opened the flood gates, I can't stop! I've cried and cried today. Everything is making me cry.

My new optometrist made me cry. I actually told him I didn't like his attitude and was leaving. I left his office crying, with him running after me. I got in my car and drove away. With my pupils dilated, me crying like an idiot and the bright sunshine, I could barely see to get home, which fortunately was only about three miles from the clinic. Someday I might tell the whole story, but the doctor was a total jerk to me. However, he's the least of my problems.

The good news is that Mookie is going to be okay. She had the surgery and they found that the bullet had pierced her intestines in two places, fairly close together. They cut out a piece of her intestines and stitched it back together. Without the surgery she would have definitely died.

The bullet also clipped her diaphragm, which had just a tiny cut and is okay, and it cut through a small piece of her liver. Livers apparently recover well to being cut. Two more nights under the vets care and then she'll come home. The surgeon said she'll be fine. She's only two years old and was a very healthy, sweet and curious kitty. It's heartbreaking that someone would do such a cruel and evil thing to a helpless little cat.

I'm almost embarrassed that we spent so much money on a cat. I think a big part of it is that my husband's father is dying, and I just couldn't bear the thought of him losing his cat too.

I called the police this morning and unless we have proof that the person we think did it, actually committed the crime, there's nothing they can do.

My husband saw the new neighbor's kid (the suspect, about 12 years old) target practicing in his back yard about a month ago with a 22 caliber pellet gun. He was shooting the opposite direction of our house. They have a one acre lot filled with plum and apple trees, that backs up to our house. They also have a huge tree house that looks down, through the trees, right into our fenced back yard. We found Mookie laying in the middle of our back yard, curled in a tiny ball. This was yesterday at 6pm. It appeared she was shot in our own yard. We were both gone all day, my husband in Denver, and me with my sister.

I can't even begin to describe how angry I am about this incident. It's a big part of the tears. I'm so angry but I feel so helpless. I don't even feel safe in my own back yard.

The kitty with the kidney failure, well, I finally took her to the vet tonight and had her euthanized. She hadn't eaten for four days, and could barely walk. I think I waited too long. It was dreadful. I've been through this many times in my life, having pets put down, but this one was exceptionally bad. The vet couldn't find her vein. I won't go into it but what normally takes just a few minutes took twenty minutes.

I'm surprised anyone still reads my posts. They are filled with so much sorrow and sadness. Right now I feel my head is going to explode from all the crying. 

I read all your comments and you are all so kind to me. I feel like a big whiny, crybaby these days. When I read your comments it just makes me realize there are really a lot of kind and sweet people in this world. Thank you.

What a difference an hour made

What a difference an hour made

I went to spinning class and stayed for the entire hour. . I was sure I was going to have a heart attack and die on the spot!

It was really hard, but the instructor was awesome. She kept saying things like "if you don't challenge yourself, you won't make a difference in your body". Almost every song she played is on my current iPod playlist, so the music was great.

I love my new cycling shoes with the SPD cleats. I got to class early and the instructor showed me how to attach my shoes to the pedals. The first few tries was a lot harder than it looked in the video, but it's really easy once you do it a few times. I think it really does make a difference in how I worked my leg muscles. When I got home, a six-minute drive, I could barely get out of the car.

My attitude did a 180 after the class. It's true about the endorphins. I walked out of the gym and into the warm sunshine, with a slight breeze, and thought...LIFE IS GOOD!

There's sadness all around me right now, but that's life. Into every life a little rain must fall, right?  I've certainly had my share of sadness this past year, but we all do. No one has a perfect life. It just makes me appreciate the good things even more.

Regarding my weight, I don't even know what it is right now. I haven't weighed in a week, but I'm sure I'm up several pounds. This past week was harder than most. I didn't exercise or eat right last week, but starting this morning I'm back on track.

Life is hard sometimes, no doubt about it.

A rollercoaster of emotions

A rollercoaster of emotions

Mookie came home today. She's currently snuggled with my husband, both are sleeping. He is her number one true love. I'm a distant second in her group of favorite people.

After a scare yesterday that Mookie had relapsed after surgery and was going to die (miscommunication by the "client information specialist"), the surgeon called me to tell me Mookie was doing amazingly well and could come home today. Of course, this was after three hours of me thinking she was going to die. I couldn't stop crying and decided to not tell my husband until I knew for sure. Thank goodness I waited. Why put him through even more torture.

I worked from home so I could be with Mookie all day. After a 2 1/2 hour round trip drive to North Seattle to retrieve her from the vet, she is as rambunctious and curious as ever, and very cuddly, even with me. If her entire underside wasn't shaved and she didn't have a four-inch incision on her tiny tummy, you'd never know she was was shot with a 22 on Sunday and had major surgery on Monday. She even managed to pull off her cone twice today.

My husband's father will probably only last a couple more days. We've heard this before, but this time he said it was different. His nephew, his sister, and his father's doctor called him. After a month in the hospice, it sounds like the end is very close for his father. Of course, my husband is devastated.

I don't know. What do you think, was this worth $5,000? I think so. 

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

Can't turn off the tears

Can't turn off the tears

It's like once I opened the flood gates, I can't stop! I've cried and cried today. Everything is making me cry.

My new optometrist made me cry. I actually told him I didn't like his attitude and was leaving. I left his office crying, with him running after me. I got in my car and drove away. With my pupils dilated, me crying like an idiot and the bright sunshine, I could barely see to get home, which fortunately was only about three miles from the clinic. Someday I might tell the whole story, but the doctor was a total jerk to me. However, he's the least of my problems.

The good news is that Mookie is going to be okay. She had the surgery and they found that the bullet had pierced her intestines in two places, fairly close together. They cut out a piece of her intestines and stitched it back together. Without the surgery she would have definitely died.

The bullet also clipped her diaphragm, which had just a tiny cut and is okay, and it cut through a small piece of her liver. Livers apparently recover well to being cut. Two more nights under the vets care and then she'll come home. The surgeon said she'll be fine. She's only two years old and was a very healthy, sweet and curious kitty. It's heartbreaking that someone would do such a cruel and evil thing to a helpless little cat.

I'm almost embarrassed that we spent so much money on a cat. I think a big part of it is that my husband's father is dying, and I just couldn't bear the thought of him losing his cat too.

I called the police this morning and unless we have proof that the person we think did it, actually committed the crime, there's nothing they can do.

My husband saw the new neighbor's kid (the suspect, about 12 years old) target practicing in his back yard about a month ago with a 22 caliber pellet gun. He was shooting the opposite direction of our house. They have a one acre lot filled with plum and apple trees, that backs up to our house. They also have a huge tree house that looks down, through the trees, right into our fenced back yard. We found Mookie laying in the middle of our back yard, curled in a tiny ball. This was yesterday at 6pm. It appeared she was shot in our own yard. We were both gone all day, my husband in Denver, and me with my sister.

I can't even begin to describe how angry I am about this incident. It's a big part of the tears. I'm so angry but I feel so helpless. I don't even feel safe in my own back yard.

The kitty with the kidney failure, well, I finally took her to the vet tonight and had her euthanized. She hadn't eaten for four days, and could barely walk. I think I waited too long. It was dreadful. I've been through this many times in my life, having pets put down, but this one was exceptionally bad. The vet couldn't find her vein. I won't go into it but what normally takes just a few minutes took twenty minutes.

I'm surprised anyone still reads my posts. They are filled with so much sorrow and sadness. Right now I feel my head is going to explode from all the crying. 

I read all your comments and you are all so kind to me. I feel like a big whiny, crybaby these days. When I read your comments it just makes me realize there are really a lot of kind and sweet people in this world. Thank you.

A rollercoaster of emotions

A rollercoaster of emotions

Mookie came home today. She's currently snuggled with my husband, both are sleeping. He is her number one true love. I'm a distant second in her group of favorite people.

After a scare yesterday that Mookie had relapsed after surgery and was going to die (miscommunication by the "client information specialist"), the surgeon called me to tell me Mookie was doing amazingly well and could come home today. Of course, this was after three hours of me thinking she was going to die. I couldn't stop crying and decided to not tell my husband until I knew for sure. Thank goodness I waited. Why put him through even more torture.

I worked from home so I could be with Mookie all day. After a 2 1/2 hour round trip drive to North Seattle to retrieve her from the vet, she is as rambunctious and curious as ever, and very cuddly, even with me. If her entire underside wasn't shaved and she didn't have a four-inch incision on her tiny tummy, you'd never know she was was shot with a 22 on Sunday and had major surgery on Monday. She even managed to pull off her cone twice today.

My husband's father will probably only last a couple more days. We've heard this before, but this time he said it was different. His nephew, his sister, and his father's doctor called him. After a month in the hospice, it sounds like the end is very close for his father. Of course, my husband is devastated.

I don't know. What do you think, was this worth $5,000? I think so. 

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.

The bad and the good

The bad and the good

The latest in a series of unfortunate events I won't go into too much detail on the events of last Thrusday and Friday, but it was a miserable experience for both my husband and myself. Mostly for him, but for me, being the one trying to help someone in agonizing pain, it was traumatic.
My husband had a partial root canal on a crack tooth on Wednesday. It was crack all the way to the end of the root. The dentist, a new one for my husband, said he would have to complete the root canal the following week. In hindsight we realize this was ridiculous. My husband should have seen an Endodontist, someone who specialized in saving cracked teeth with root canals, but we didn't know, and I guess the  new dentist didn't either. Less than 24 hours later my husband called me from his car, stuck in rush hour traffic and screaming with pain, trying to get to the dentist, a good hour drive from his office.
Long story short, by the time I got to him he thought he was having a heart attack but still insisted on going to his dentist. In hindsight I should have driven him straight to the hospital. Forty-five minutes later in the worst traffic ever we arrive at the dentist. My husband is now sure he's having a heart attack. The dentist immediately called 911, they transport him to ER.
They continually ask him his pain level on a scale of 0 - 10, he says it's a 12. They finally get enough pain meds in him to calm him down. His blood pressure drops to almost normal (it was 211/110 at the dentist's office). They kept him overnight for observation, and determined through additional tests and blood work that he did not have a heart attack.
He's currently on a very strong pain medicine, Dilaudid (7 times stronger than morphine) and now only has a dull throbbing in the tooth. He's also in a much more pleasant mood. I told him maybe he needs a permanent prescription of this stuff.
So that was Thursday and Friday. Two really rough days that neither of us have recovered from.
My father-in-law Two weeks ago today my father-in-law passed away. I have mixed feelings on this. I know my husband is devastated over it, but I just don't feel much of anything. I almost feel guilty about that, but I didn't have a relationship with him. I'm relieved he is no longer in pain, and relieved my husband doesn't have to fly to Denver ever weekend as he has done since Memorial Day weekend. It's been a very long, sad summer.
The cat with nine lives, Miss MookieWe talked to the neighbors that shot our cat. Really, it was my husband and the police that talked to them. I opted out of the conversation. They denied everything, but their 14-year kid target practices on the other side of the fence in our back yard. The 22-pellet gun he uses shoots the exact same type of pellet that is permanently lodges in Mookie's hip. It's hour-glass shaped. We have the x-ray that clearly shows an hour-glass shaped pelllet.
Regardless, they denied it so there's nothing else we can do. The Tacoma police were amazing. Two young, extremely good-looking officers showed up at our door when my husband called to report the incident.They were very kind and understanding, and they were as angry as we were over the shooting. After they talked to the neighbors, with my husband, they came back over to our house. The officers said the kid acted nervous and they're pretty sure he did it,  but they couldn't charge him with the crime. They said the family is on notice now and they really doubt anything like this will happen again. I hope they're right. Mookie is doing great. You'd never even know she had been shot. Still acts like a kitten and is as happy as can be.
The real purpose of this blog...WEIGHT LOSS!So it finally happened. I've had enough. I'm fed up with being fat, with my clothes not fitting, of trying to buy clothes in the fat ladies department where everything is ugly. I'm tired of feeling icky and tired. I'm tired of life passing me by. You know the feeling, when one day you wake up and go, I'm sick and tired of this and I'm going to do something about it.
The really weird thing is that my best friend emailed me on the exact day I had this thought, last Tuesday. She asked me if I would go back to Weight Watchers with her? Yes! A hundred times yes!
We had our first meeting yesterday, Saturday. The only bad thing was our favorite leader, Janis, wasn't there. Her daughter had gone into labor so she was at the hospital. No one even compares to her enthusiasm or sense of humor, so it was a boring meeting. Janis will be back next week, and we managed to get through the meeting.
We got the materials and sat through the little introduction for the Power Start, which was not impressive. I'm sure it's because the leader wasn't my favorite. I already lost the PowerStart tracking book for the first week, but I do everything online anyway. I really love the phone app and the scanner. I'd just started using those when I quit last time. This time I'm never going to quit. N-E-V-E-R.
My starting weight:  221.6 <---I could say a whole lot of bad stuff about this but I think the number speaks for itself.
ExerciseAlong with diet comes exercise. I've actually been doing a bit better lately in the exercise department. I went three times last week to the gym. Now that's no where near where I want to be but it's a vast improvement from the zero to maybe one or two times a week I had been going. It's really hard getting back into it, but there's really no option. I have to exercise. If I don't, I feel awful mentally and physically. I think for someone my age, 57, exercise just is NOT optional. If you don't use it, you lose it. Pushing my sister around in a wheelchair really brings it home that I do not want to ever wind up in a wheelchair.
On that note, my husband is napping (it's 4pm), so I'm going to go to the gym for a good workout. I feel great. Happy, energetic, and on track with my food. It's amazing what eating healthy for just 24 hours can do for a person.
Welcome back Diana.