Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Morning update

Morning update

I promised I'd post here this morning, and thank you so much for your kind comments on my crazy post from earlier today.

First, life lesson learned this morning at 1 a.m.:


If you read my earlier post at 1 a.m. today you know about what I found out last night about my marriage. I knew something was wrong from the beginning. My recent divorce filing is my third time in 24 years I've tried to end this marriage. I knew the day we got married it was a mistake. I didn't listen to my gut, which was an even bigger mistake. It's going to cost me, monetarily and mentally, to end this 24-year long mistake. If only I had listened to my inner voice. Lesson noted and learned.

Speaking of listening to my gut, the alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. I couldn't turn it off fast enough. I had only been sleeping about two hours, if you call tossing and turning, and having a panic attack at 4 a.m. sleeping. I woke up again at 6 a.m. I thought I can either roll over and play dead, or get up and fight for what I want in life. I chose my life over another hour of sleep. I went to the gym. It was only 35 minutes on the elliptical. I forgot my water bottle. I missed my turn onto the road to the gym and was on my way to work. Luckily I noticed this before I got on the freeway. I was on the elliptical for five minutes before I realized I didn't have my iPod on. I guess I'm really out of practice for the gym.

Now it's off to work. I feel good today. Good about going to the gym. Good about my decision to end my marriage. Things really are better in the morning.

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